side effects...

i've read a bunch of books.  i've talked to a bunch of people.  i thought i knew what was happening to my body, but alas, i realized once again that i do not know nearly what i thought.

it's been creeping for a while--shortness of breath, exhaustion, leg cramps, sleeping 12 hours in the day, not sleeping, peeing more times in the course of "night night" than i ever thought was humanly possible.  even the tragic event of doubling my weight gain in one month (and then again the next month) i have gotten used to.

but now...i have carpal tunnel...really bad...at night usually....when i am asleep...which wakes me up...usually about the time i get back settled down and comfy from getting up to pee.  to top it all off...getting relaxed and asleep is a chore--i just can't get comfortably.  she sits to one side of my stomach, rolling around to whichever i lay (and i've been trying to lay on my left because i heard that lessens the circulation) but good lord!!  last night i could not get settled which meant i could not get to sleep and i was SO very tired...you know, the kinda tired that makes your eyes droop and drool.  pure exhaustion.  

and now i am up with no hope of going back to sleep.

is this what it feels like to be a parent?