12 days...but who's counting????

I will be glad when I have adult things to talk about...not just the state of my uterus.  Or my back. Or my ass.  Or my swollen like softball feet.  Apparently, though, adult conversations are relinquished once baby is born and you find your self consumed with bottles.  And giggles.  And poop.

I think BJ and I have officially run out of things to say to each other.  

Since school started back, our conversation has been limited...very similar to the first 4 months of this adventure.  I come home and sleep.  He watches TV.  Correspondence to a minimum.  But I don't know what to talk about.  Everything is ready (except the house needs to be cleaned...AGAIN)...even the car seat is in the car (bless his heart, he got nervous that we hadn't put the car seat in and there would be an emergency).  Neither one of us are sleeping very well (well, he SAYS he isn't but every time I get up in the night to pee he looks like he's cozy in dreamland!).

We are both just really ready for Caroline to be here.  Mostly because we want to hold her and love her and, you know, meet her.  

(and I MUST digress for a moment...it really sucks when OTHER people say, "I can't wait for Caroline to get here...I'm SO ready"...LIKE THEY HAVE CARRIED HER AROUND IN THEIR BODIES FOR 9 MONTHS...seriously?  I understand being excited...like my girlfriends who are super excited to meet her...but other people who act like they've been doing all this waiting and anticipating...PleASE spare me...I'm so over this whole notion of "I have a right to your baby because I say I do"...where are these people going to be when we need dinners or diaper changes?  probably in my living room holding the baby and not helping with things like laundry and cleaning (things that we could REALLY use some help on)...okay, digression over)

So we're ready.  12 days and counting.  Seems very similar to the anticipation of the wedding.  Which was fun.  The wedding, not the waiting.  I am kinda nervous that I'll go into labor early...and I've made it to 37 weeks which means she's full term so she'll be okay...BuT...she really should cook a little longer.  I don't feel like she's ready to come out...I feel like she's really uncomfortable in there.  She's always moving around with her knee in my stomach, toes in my ribs.

Sometimes, I have nightmares that she is this alien being.

Other times, in my dreams, she's really the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

But I'm going to laugh when she is born with a penis...NO, not a hermaphrodite...a boy.  Yeah, I still think she's gonna be a boy...and I'm okay with that.  Finn will have a lot of cute little panties with CLW across the rear.

We're almost there, kid...we can make it...promise.  :)

any day now...

Okay, kid.  I get it.  You are incubating like rapid fire right now...but does that mean you have to give me heartburn that starts in my knees and goes into my nose?  What about the constipation that STILL isn't corrected (even after 3 full days of 4 colace per day & 4 suppositories...oh yes, nice little "bonus" to the end of the pregnancy...burst hemorrhoids)?  You know, my Sciatic Nerve is about to turn Pyschotic in the very near future.  Not to mention, I feel as if one of two things are going to happen...

A)  my ovaries are going to explode OR 

B)  your arm is going to exit my stomach very similar to the alien in the cult movie classic, Space Balls

Either way, I am ready for you to be out...that is R-E-A-D-Y for you, little, dear Caroline Leigh to be O-U-T of my body...I really don't mind feeding you from my body, holding you outside of my body, snuggling you close to my body...but it is definitely time for you NOT TO BE inside my body.  Nine months?  More like 10...40 weeks.  You are scheduled to be borned a week early so I just have to make it to 39...I am at 36 and 4 days.  And I think I might just go to bed so I don't have to think about it...but when I try to go to sleep...I fingers/carpal tunnel acts up, I have to pee a million times (which requires a manuever SO involved to get OUT of the bed that I can't really explain other than to say roll and hoist) and there is absolutely NOTHING comfortable about the precious bed we bought so many months ago (it was comfy then) especially when your Daddy tries to snuggle me...ugh...he smells bad and it's too hot for all that.

So what is a Mommy-to-be to do?

WAIT...that is all I can do is just wait...wait for you to come...either on your own time or when the doctor says so...but between you and me...I wouldn't be upset if you decided now instead of later! :)

not just your usual "Mom Blog"...

So I set up this blog to document Caroline's arrival--you know, preparations, showers, car seats, bedding.  And at the time it seemed like a great idea.

Except those of you who know me know that I can only "OOOHHH" & "AAAAAHHHH" over monogrammed panties, painted walls, and ginormous bunny rabbits for so long.  Don't get me wrong, the panties are adorable, I am SUPER stoked about how the nursery turned out and the bunny rabbit, we'll just leave that alone...but I am a writer--most days a satirical writer...and I feel that as the moments count down until Caroline is here that I need to be a little more true to my own personal writing style (instead of just categorizing pictures, sentiments, etc.).

So...the preparations are documented.  Now onto the fun stuff.

From now on, this blog will be what it has just been renamed:  THE CAROLINE CHRONICLES. It is my desire to write a blog about being a Mom and all the (apparent) hilarity I am in for in my own sarcastic, personal style.  So you will get anecdotes.  You'll get the gross stuff.  I will probably throw out a cuss word or two.  Some of it will be sentimental (hell, it's a baby...that brings out the emotions in everyone)...but mostly it will be my ramblings and trying to make sense of this new world I am now a member of.  I do not want this to be your typical "Mom Blog"... I want it to have relevance and character and of course...humor.  So if you are looking for a quick and easy update...you might want to check out the photo albums on Facebook.  Better yet, shoot me an email.  But this blog is meant to make you laugh, cry, smile, scream...all with the click of a button!

Happy Reading.

it's a family affair...

The Waddell/Meadows Family Shower (8/2/2009) was wonderful!  So many fantastic things were brought for Sweet Caroline...we need a bigger house!!!!  Diapers, teethers, onesies, outfits, pac-n-play, bouncers, books galore...I don't know where to put everything!!  It was great that it wasn't "just girls" but a couples shower where everyone was there to celebrate Caroline's arrival.  BJ had a fun time opening presents (he hasn't had a chance, yet) including a special "Dad Bag" that contained lots of spirit wear for Caroline for all the teams he supports...now she will be dressed and ready to cheer along with him!!

A special shout out to cousins Kristina & April for putting together all the food!  It was wonderful...not too much longer and Caroline will be here!

Breast feeding Class...

...or as Daddy would say, "Boobie Class."

Today, we spent 3.5 hours in a breastfeeding class.  I am not so sure that it was overly informative seeing as I have read 2 breast feeding books, several articles, watched a video, and live next door to my own captain of the LeLache League :).  Pretty much, I could have told all those people all that information...but perhaps it will be most useful when put into practice once Caroline gets here.

It was, however, humorous to watch BJ be completely uncomfortable.  He says he supports breast feeding because it is the cheaper alternative...whatever.  I'm not necessarily sure he has an opinion one way or another.  I do know he is totally tired of talking about, looking at, and learning about breasts...a feat I never thought would be accomplished.  Neighbor Brett said that in the end, we'll find it helpful because BJ will have a better understanding of what to expect and how to support the breast feeding endeavor.  Hopefully, this is true.  If not, I'll never live this one down! :)

WEST is the BEST!

Saturday, July 25th was Caroline's 3rd Baby Shower given by the ladies of West Forsyth High School...specifically, Mrs. Britten, Mrs. Place & Mrs. Maiers.  The shower was so much fun...adn it was nice to hang out with some school friends (and talk school, too...you know teachers, we can't help it!!!)  Mrs. Hepler, Mrs. Bayush, & Mrs. Phillips all came along with Caroline's Nana and Aunt Jackie.  Aunt Alison sent an Edible Arrangement all they was from New York City!  What a nice surprise!

Teachers, of course, showered Caroline with books...so many that her once bare bookshelf is almost full!  Caroline's "Under the Sea" bathroom is now complete with the bath mat and fancy towels that match.  She received several awesome outfits, receiving blankets, a humidifier, a swaddel blanket and a zip me up comfy bag for the winter!  

It was a great day...but the special surprise was a cake made by Mrs. Place's sister (Jennifer Cowart, Cowcakes) that matched Caroline's nursery theme--color & bunny & everything.  Plus is tasted REALLY good!! :)

Here are some pics from the day:

 

is it possible...

to cure hiccups in utero?  poor sweet caroline...she continuously gets chronic hiccups.  i wonder if it hurts?  when i hiccup...it hurts me.

i wonder if her hiccups (which seem to be getting much stronger) are related to the cramp/contractions i've been having lately.  i'm pretty sure they are contractions.  but hey, i've never had a kid before...so i don't really know what contractions feel like.  but i am pretty sure that they are small, early contractions (don't worry mom, the doctor says that is TOTALLY normal).

just in case, though, all my lesson plans for school are complete...so if need be, i can go into labor.  however, five weeks remain...so i'm hoping that she doesn't come early!!! :)

32 1/2 weeks!

Today, Miss Caroline decided to scare Mommy & Daddy.  When Dr. Nix listened to Caroline's heartbeat, she was galloping like a horse.  So, Dr. Nix hooked Mommy up to the fetal heart monitor for 30 minutes to make sure that everything was okay...and it was!  Caroline got a 100% perfect score on her heart rate after that but Mommy (and especially Daddy)  were a little on the freaked out side! :)

The good thing is we found out that even though Mommy will be put to sleep for the c-section, Caroline & Daddy will wait for her in the recovery room and the three of us will have lots of time together (and quick after the surgery) before being moved to the private room.  We still will have restricted visitation on Thursday as Mommy will be recovering from surgery and Caroline will be learning to eat but the good news is it won't take so long for Mommy & Caroline to meet (finally!).

Dr. Nix said Mommy had to wear wrist braces to help with her carpal tunnel.  So much fun.  Hopefully, though, it'll help and Mommy will be able to sleep better at night.  Dr. Nix said it wasn't much longer...everything seems like it's in order for Caroline's arrival!!! :)

she is definitely one lucky little lady!

Saturday, July 18th, was such an AWESOME day!  The Ya-Ya Brigade came out in full force to celebrate Caroline Leigh's arrival.  Aunts Amanda, Brooke & Emily threw her an amazing shower with so many incredible details that it made us all a little weepy.

Aunt Emily's idea of M&Ms with Caroline's name on them was a magical touch that had Mimi in tears!!

So many cute little chocolate treats reading "Sweet Caroline" and "09/03/2009"...

 incredible!

The set up at Aunt Emily's house was beautiful!  The food table was impeccably decorated and there was SO MUCH food, Mommy even got full.  

Aunt Jessica even brought her famous bacon wrapped crackers (and Mommy had to sneak a few extra so that Mimi wouldn't give her a hard time for eating things she shouldn't!).  There were balloons everywhere - even in the bathroom and the girls made sure that PINK was NOT the prominent color! :)  As soon as everyone came in the door, they were supposed to address an envelope to themselves--a very nice thing when Mommy got the thank you notes...made writing them MUCH easier!!!

Everything was so tastefully done (well, of course...the master party-planners were involved) that Paula Deen and Ma

rtha Stewart would be proud...maybe we should consult for them???

Mommy's friends came and brought Caroline some pretty amazing little things...take a look:

           

Miss Jessie showed up and and so did Miss Jamie from Mommy's work.  Jess & AJ came and so did Daddy's friend, Miss Rachel (London's Mommy)!  Great Gram Josephine, Aunt Leigh, Mimi & Nana were there and Miss Julie drove all the way from Macon.  

Aunts Amanda, Brooke, & Emily made everyone taste baby food and it was pretty gross...also, everyone tried to unscramble words (Mommy wasn't very good at that!)  It was all really fun and I think that everyone had a great time (Mommy really did!).

All & all...this shower made Mommy realize one the most important things:  even though her family doesn't live here, she does have family -- Amanda, Brooke & Emily are Mommy's family while Mimi, Leigh & Coach are in Savannah and they are going to help Mommy and love Caroline...which makes Mommy realize once again, how important friends are.  She is so lucky to have wonderful, beautiful friends and can't wait until their little ones arrive so Caroline can show them the ropes!  Thank you three so much.  I love you more than you can ever imagine!

inability to sleep...

the side effects have officially woken me up!   today is a really exciting day!  "Aunts" Amanda, Brooke & Emily are throwing Caroline a shower.  this is so special because Mommy has known Amanda & Emily since the 8th grade...and Brooke has quickly become one of Mommy's best friends (her husband, Uncle Matt, has been Daddy's friend since 5th grade).  Plus, "Aunt" Julie is coming...and she is Mommy's oldest friend...dating back to the 3rd grade.

All of these ladies are so special to Mommy and she is really excited to see everyone together.  Today should be really fun for all!!!

side effects...

i've read a bunch of books.  i've talked to a bunch of people.  i thought i knew what was happening to my body, but alas, i realized once again that i do not know nearly what i thought.

it's been creeping for a while--shortness of breath, exhaustion, leg cramps, sleeping 12 hours in the day, not sleeping, peeing more times in the course of "night night" than i ever thought was humanly possible.  even the tragic event of doubling my weight gain in one month (and then again the next month) i have gotten used to.

but now...i have carpal tunnel...really bad...at night usually....when i am asleep...which wakes me up...usually about the time i get back settled down and comfy from getting up to pee.  to top it all off...getting relaxed and asleep is a chore--i just can't get comfortably.  she sits to one side of my stomach, rolling around to whichever i lay (and i've been trying to lay on my left because i heard that lessens the circulation) but good lord!!  last night i could not get settled which meant i could not get to sleep and i was SO very tired...you know, the kinda tired that makes your eyes droop and drool.  pure exhaustion.  

and now i am up with no hope of going back to sleep.

is this what it feels like to be a parent?

sugar, sugar

so i've made the (unfortunate/fortunate) mistake of watching Martha Stewart Cupcake week and Cake Boss and guess what????  a hankering like you wouldn't believe has come over me.  

i must take a moment and digress here for a second...caroline has stopped being as active as she was.  of course my immediate reaction is to be upset and scared...but that is just undo stress as i am beginning to realize that caroline is getting a lot bigger right now (right now she's like 3 1/2 pounds or so) and it is getting harder for her to move around.  over the weekend, though, it seemed like she would only move when i would have phone in hand ready to call doctor.

okay...so back to the cupcakes.  most of you know i have been pretty strict on myself the last month or so because the doctor said i was gaining too much weight (and for those of you who haven't gone through it...it is totally freaky when you step on the scale and you've gained a million pounds...ain't gonna lie! :) )  but these cupcake/cake shows have worn down my will power and i had to have a cupcake.  and a tall cold glass of milk.  so i called 'Aunt Amanda' who knows all the good places in town (she is definitely my go-to girl...if she doesn't know it...she knows someone who does) and she recommended a local bakery.  i had decided if i was going to cheat and eat a cupcake it sure as hell wouldn't be a nasty grocery-store plastic bakery one.

so i set off...find the bakery...walk in...and they have 3 cupcakes in their case.  One vanilla and two chocolate.  buttercream icing.  drizzled with sprinkles.  i bought all three (at least it wasn't a dozen) and a small mini-cake (to share with the beej).  i could hardly get home to eat my treat (and yes, i did have a finger full of icing before i left the parking lot).  so i got home and took the vanilla out of the box and took a huge bite...YUMMMMMMMMM.  I then poured a large glass of cold milk and polished off the rest of the vanilla cupcake.  It was so good, I had to have a small sliver of taste of BJ's mini cake.  

And now, i sit here, completely satisfied...my hankering quenched...some treats for later...with a 3 plus pound baby going absolutely crazy in my stomach.  I think Caroline has a sweet tooth...or i put her in sugar shock...either way, now i know what to do to get her moving!!!! :)  She's doing kart-wheels in my belly!

water in my ankles?

Mommy has been a little too active in the summer heat.  Her ankles have been swelling to the size of tennis balls which means she has to lay on the sofa and let Daddy rub them (and he isn't quite as good as Mimi--she rubs Mommy's feet with lotion and for a long time, Daddy gets distracted by the TV).

Even though Mommy has been walking in the mornings, she is still swelling in this summer heat.  Today, she slept too late (it gets too hot to walk after 9 am in Savannah) so she got in the pool and did some water aerobics (but probably not enough).  If the heat doesn't get much better, Mommy is going to have to walk laps at the mall...which she can handle because there are lots of shops that she can browse for little Caroline!!!

Mimi says Mommy won't make it until the due date and if she does, she won't make it to school for that long.  Mommy is determined...we'll see!!!  Mimi often underestimates Mommy.  

School starts in 4 weeks.  That is when Mommy goes back with her teacher friends.  Five weeks until her new students come.  About 8 weeks until Caroline gets here.  Let's just hope that things start unswelling and we can make it to D-Day!!!

Daddy is starting to get nervous.  The other day he said, "We need a plan for if your water breaks."  Mommy's response:  "Get me to the emergency room."   So when Mommy & Daddy get back to Atlanta from Mimi & Coach's house, they are going to get the bags packed, you know, just in case.  That will make Daddy feel better.  He's so silly, sometimes!

Mommy & Daddy have had a fun time with Mimi, Coach & Aunt Leigh in Savannah, but it is time to get back to the digs in Atl.  12 days is a really long time to be gone...but the next time they come, Caroline will be with them!!!

Less than two months....the count down is on!!!

Mommy is T-I-R-E-D...

So last night, I went to bed at 7:30 pm. No joke. I woke up at 7:30 am. No joke. Really. No joke. I am the kid that never sleeps. I seriously require maybe 6 or so hours. However, ever since I got pregnant, I feel like all I do is sleep. And not the normal sleep. Sleep like deep-can't wake me if you try-leave me if the house burns sleep. It's weird.

But I slept last night for 12 hours.

And I think I could seriously go to bed early tonight and do it again. Everyone says this is my body's way of storing up...perhaps. I think it's just because Caroline is so freakin' active that she uses quite a bit of my energy.

BJ doesn't know what to do, really. Usually he's the one asking for five more minutes. Now, I'm the one that snores so loud he has to find a new place to sleep.

I hope this means that she will be easy to get on a schedule. And she won't be crying and she'll let us sleep. Maybe. Hopefully. Probably not. If she's like me, anyway!

In Savannah, when it rains...it pours!

Saturday, June 27th was a great day!  Aunt Jan & Aunt Paula hosted Caroline's first baby shower in Savannah and it was awesome!!!  

There was plenty of food, family & friends and it was so great to see just how loved this little girl is!  Aunts Jan & Paula have always been very special to Mommy and now Caroline knows how special they are, too!!

Aunt Paula was so sweet and gave Caroline a Baby Einstein Activity Jumper (and knowing how active she is already, this will come in handy) while Aunt Jan gave Caroline a super cool monogrammed passie clip and gift card to Target (which BJ says will be used on diapers! :) )  It was special, too, 'cause Cousin Matt (who couldn't make it) sent Caroline a Baby Journal.  It is really neat and will be fun to write and keep up with all of Caroline's family trees.

Cousin Madison was there, too, and she gave Caroline this really awesome giraffe blanket and Tummy Turtle.  I bet Caroline will be using both of those A LOT!!!  

It was really cool because Maddy bought  both presents with her own money!!!!  Caroline will LOVE THEM!!!!

Madison's Nanny also handmade Caroline a quilt with baby animals on it...so cute!!!

Of course, Mimi, Aunt Leigh & Coach were there.  We didn't get any pictures of Coach, but we did get a shot with Aunt Leigh & Mimi, see:              Great Grandma Josephine came, too!

       

Sweet Caroline got some really pretty presents...Mimi & Mommy's friends have excellent taste for little Southern Belles to be (Daddy doesn't understand why we love monograms but hey, they are just so darn cute!!!!)

      

Aunt Leigh picked out these fun-fetti panties and Mommy loves them!!!  Of course Mimi brought the girl a gift (or two!)...She got Caroline a Butterfly Chandelier for her bedroom from Pottery Barn Kids and a couple outfits from Gymboree.  Ms. Suzanne & Ms. Kelly brought Caroline some beautiful nightgowns that she will absolutely love!!  They are so soft!  The Parkers sent a bag of gifts (including ones for Mimi & Coach)...BJ loved! the monkey passie & turtle night light while Mommy can't wait to put the monogrammed diaper holder in Caroline's room!

Ms. Jamie, Mr. Tommy, Graysen & Charlie brought some bath time fun along with Uncle Ricky & Aunt Gaye, cousins Stephany & Christopher, Jaston & Megan.  Caroline's "Under the Sea" bathroom is going to be awesome!!!  And we LOVE the hooded towels!!

                                    

Aunt Theresa & Uncle Alan gave Mommy a Boppy for Caroline while Great Grandma Josephine  brought Caroline a large stuffed bunny, a bag of crib goodies and the stroller/carseat...which made Mommy really excited because she was afraid Caroline wouldn't get that! :)  Daddy had to put it together this morning and it is SWEET!!!  CLW will be strollin' in style!                 

The best part was at the end of the shower, though, when Daddy gave Mommy a special gift.  He had matching silver bracelets engraved for his girls--LHW & CLW.  They were absolutely beautiful!!!!  And some of the ladies cried!

This was such a special day for Mommy, Daddy & Caroline and we would like to thank everyone who came and celebrated with us--your generosity was overwhelming!  A special thanks goes to Aunts Paula & Jan for making this such a wonderful day!!!!

Sleeping Beauty

Well, today we went for our consult with the Anesthesiologist and it was confirmed that I will be put to sleep for Caroline's birth.  The risk is too great with the cyst on the base of my spine to stick needles in the general area SO...that means that they are knocking me out.

The sad part(s) is/are that I won't be awake for the procedure and BJ won't be allowed in the room, either.  We are both a little bummed, but we were prepared for this outcome.  Safety and health is the most important concern and this type of delivery is what is safest for us.

Naturally, the risk is a little greater.  But we know that when all is said and done, Caroline will be delivered in the safest, most healthy way and I will be given the safest, most healthy treatment available.

Just keep us all in your prayers as we move closer to D-Day.

Dear Family & Friends

letter being sent out to family & friends regarding Caroline's delivery...

In case you haven’t heard, Caroline Leigh Waddell is set to make her appearance on September 3, 2009.  Yep, it’s a girl—and we are SO excited!  Since her arrival is just a few weeks away, we wanted to fill you in on all the details!

 

First, we’ve been busy getting ready for Caroline.  The nursery is green & white and accented in peach with a theme of The Velveteen Rabbit.  It is perfect for our Sweet Caroline and we think that the digs are pretty cool.

 

Caroline will be born at Northside in Atlanta.  Because the c-section is considered high-risk, Lori’s doctor has restricted visitors on Thursday, 9/3/09, to immediate family only.  Don’t worry, once she is here, Papa Mike will call everyone and fill you in on all the specifics.  Extended family & friends should be allowed to visit starting Friday but on a limited basis.  The nature of Caroline’s birth is complicated which complicates Lori’s recovery.

 

We will be bringing Caroline home either Sunday or Monday, depending on Lori’s recovery, just the two of us so that we can get Caroline acclimated and we can bond as a family.  Once everyone is in and settled, we’d love to have visitors and we’ll let you know when we’re ready.

 

Cousins Kristina & April will be getting in touch with you guys about the baby shower for Caroline soon.  It will be Sunday, 2 August 2009 at 2pm at our house and everyone (guys & girls) are invited!  We are so excited to show you Caroline’s room and to celebrate her arrival with our family, so Save The Date!!!

 

We appreciate all your love, support & prayers during this exciting time in our lives.  We can’t wait to meet our Caroline Leigh and we know in the upcoming months, we’ll rely on your support more than ever.  Thank you all for being such a special and important part of our lives.

 

We can’t wait to see you on August 2^nd!!! You can read about all “stuff” Caroline on our family blog at http://loribjcaroline-lkherndon.blogspot.com/ .

 

Love y’all,

 

Lori & BJ

 

Daddy wants to know...

The other day, BJ and I had a conversation about, what else?  Caroline!  In this particular conversation he made the comment that he couldn't wait until she was here (which a lot of people say and it annoys me--hello!  I'm the one walking around with like 40 extra pounds around my body, my thighs rub together and I can hardly breathe and YOU will be excited when she's here...I don't think nearly as excited as me!  but I digress) and he can feed her things like peanut butter.

And I started laughing.

"You can't give a baby peanut butter, dude...you have to wait until they are like 2 years old."  I said amidst my giggles.

"Why?  She's my kid, I can give her whatever I want."

"Except peanut butter.  It is like the #1 kid allergy.  Plus they could choke on the peanuts."

"Oh, that makes sense."  I knew he'd see it my way.

So tonight, BJ called me from Columbia (he's doing a lot of travel this summer so it can be slowed down once Caroline comes) and he says, "I was thinking about that whole peanut thing.  What happens if she eats something she's allergic to?"

"Well,"  I say calmly, "she'll stop breathing and we'll have to rush her to the emergency room."

"Will we need to stick our fingers down her throat or put a straw in her mouth and try to suck it out?"

"No.  We'll call 911 and rush her to the emergency room."

"But what if she's not breathing that whole time??"

"Maybe we should get a book...I'm sure there is one this subject."

BJ's response to this:  "Well, you need to ask Dr. Nix at your next appointment."

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse...

... "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."  ~ Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

This is our theme for Caroline's Nursery.  I love The Velveteen Rabbit.  It is one of my favorite childhood stories and I told BJ that when we had a baby, I wanted that to be the theme of his/her room.  So the day after we found out I was pregnant, I came home and BJ said, "There's a present for you on the table."  And I looked in the Barnes & Noble bag and there is was--a copy of the original text and art work from The Velveteen Rabbit.

"So you can plan the room,"  BJ said.

So we started with the paint--I knew I wanted the predominant color to be green (because we weren't finding out, remember?)...I picked out  a fantastic Kappa Delta green & white and had the room painted 1st:

Then, BJ & I went and picked out the furniture! :)  That was an adventure.  We'd been looking at lots of cribs and different things and then we went to this really expensive baby store off of Jimmy Carter.  We knew when we walked in that we wouldn't be able to afford what they had.  But then...we saw that they were having a floor sale...and we could afford it.  After picking out what we liked, we decided to go to a few more stores.  At the next store we went to, BJ looked at me and said, "I'd feel like a bad parent if I got a crib like this--all wobbly and unstable--and not the solid wood crib."  So we went straight back to the store off Jimmy Carter and got Caroline's furniture.  

BJ had to put the crib together, see:

and it works & everything!!!  After all that crib putting-together, BJ needed a break! :)

Once we found out she was a girl, we started buying "girly clothes" (BJ bought her first dress!) and made a name plate for her room...We were actually pretty excited about how her name art came out--first, it is PEACH (NOT PINK...I am not a huge fan of pink & purple) but most important, we worked on it, making it super cute!!

Then, Mimi & Aunt Leigh brought up the bedding that I ordered (before I knew it was a girl) from Savannah...and I was SUPER excited because I designed it myself and it was PERFECT for our Velveteen Rabbit nursery.

Then, Jordan, one of my students from SFHS, came to pain the mural--and it only took a few hours! :)

see?  Caroline Leigh Waddell -- her initials are carved in the tree!

and the final product looked FANTASTIC!!!! :)

It's so funny, because I catch BJ going into Caroline's room and just staring...and I laugh (and sometimes, make fun of him) but guess what?  I do it, too.  Now that I am home all day, I definitely go into her room and just sit and look at the walls and think about what it will be like when she gets here!!!

YOU CAN DANCE...YOU CAN JIVE...

I think I've about decided that Caroline is going to be a dancer.  Not only does she move ALOT already, but she especially moves when I am listening to good music OR like last night when the Tony's were on, she got really excited.  It was actually funny.  I know it doesn't necessarily mean anything...but I think that it is so cute!!! :)

BJ says that she is going to play softball for the University of Georgia...I don't know.  I think that tu-tu's and twirls are in our future.  BJ also says that she is going to Duke...I told him to start saving his pennies...and that she isn't going to be allowed to play Barbies (PUH-LEASE...Barbies were a staple in my house...and sometimes, I long to play with them even now!)

I hope she likes to dance, though.  I remember dancing when I was little--not just on stage but in the kitchen with my mom and sister and dad.  We were a dancin' family...and I have visions of a head full of dirty blonde curly hair standing on BJ's feet looking up at him and saying, "Dance with me, Daddy"...it's going to be fun!

the first time we danced...

...to caroline's song was so sweet.  BJ and I were vacationing in Hilton Head and ate at this cute little deck restaraunt--Steamers--and there was this guy with a guitar.  Needless to say with a dd...BJ embibed and paid the guy to sing SWEET CAROLINE...and because he was feeling loose--he danced with me!! :)

it was super sweet.

Dear Non-Pregnant Person...

NOTE:  I did not write this.  I 'borrowed' it from THE BABY CENTER (actually, Aunt Amanda sent it to me and I borrowed it from her)...however, I find it AWESOME and completely encompassing my feelings/beliefs/fears about being pregnant.  Enjoy!

Dear Non-Pregnant Person, 

I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice. 

1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is 'Congratulations!' with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you an ass. 

2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase 'my baby'. 

3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it. The same goes for the name of the baby. 

4) The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman. 

5) Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight- ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance, and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is 'You look fabulous!'. 

6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes. 

7)There is a reason that tickets to L&D are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to 'help out'. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it. 

9) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping. 

10) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less. I hope this helps- it sure makes us feel better. 

Signed, All Pregnant Women  (most specifically, Lori Herndon Waddell)

~sweet caroline~

so we weren't going to find out.  actually, i was adamant that we not find out and the beej wanted to find out really bad.  but it didn't matter--it was my body and i didn't want to find out so we weren't going to.  period.  end of discussion.

at some point, though, it became more important for bj to know than it did for me not to know.  so i decided that for father's day, we'd find out...that would be my gift to bj.

he had no idea.

so we went to the doctor (and amidst a major breakdown regarding the amount of weight i've gained) i asked dr. nix (who, by the way, is the absolute BEST!!!!)  if she would check baby w out and tell us what he/she/it was.  i figured she would just verify what i already knew--Herndon Finn Waddell was on his way.  bj's face was priceless...he was really excited that we were finding out and i knew that i had made the right decision! (thanks andy stanley for teaching me that in our families, we have to put each other first)

so we went back to the ultrasound room.  dr. nix said based on the pics we brought over from the perinatal clinic that she thinks it was a girl.  i told her she was wrong.  so she gooped the goop on my belly and rubbed the wand over my abdomen and said, "heres the head and the arms and there, yeah, i'm pretty sure it's a little girl--no turtle heads, here."  bj and i were in shock, complete shock.  it was weird.  bj's first words were, "I have to start saving for a wedding".  it was hilarious!!!

so i have a little legacy growing inside me!

and i'm really stoked (though the pink and purple is going to drive me crazy, that is for sure).  i would have been fine having a little boy...it really didn't matter one way or another...but this little girl is going to be very loved (and spoiled).

CAROLINE LEIGH WADDELL

she is scheduled to make her appearance 3 Sept 2009 (9-3-09)...now, we just have to get the room ready!!! :)

SO, here is her song (and bj's new ringtone...call him, it'll ring back to you, too)

Where it began, I can't begin to know when
But then I know it's growing strong
Oh, wasn't the spring, whooo
And spring became the summer
Who'd believe you'd come along

Hands, touching hands, reaching out
Touching me, touching you
Oh, sweet Caroline
Good times never seem so good
I've been inclined to believe it never would

And now I, I look at the night, whooo
And it don't seem so lonely
We fill it up with only two, oh
And when I hurt
Hurting runs off my shoulder
How can I hurt when holding you

Oh, one, touching one, reaching out
Touching me, touching you
Oh, sweet Caroline
Good times never seem so good
Oh I've been inclined to believe it never would

Ohhh, sweet Caroline, good times never seem so good

what happens when you eat all your allotted calories before 9am?

It has become too easy...my caloric intake has become too large.  And before you people start commenting "but you're pregnant" you need to realize that on average, as a pregnant woman, you need only 300 more calories than usual.  And what was normal before pregnancy?

Before pregnancy, I wouldn't dare eat a biscuit from McDonald's or any other drive-thru.  Very rarely would I feast on doughnuts.  I would never, ever be able to down an entire meal complete with salad, breadsticks, and pasta from Georgio's nor would I sit and eat an half a pizza in one sitting (well, maybe if that sitting was  a lazy Saturday and it was breakfast/lunch/dinner).  Certainly, french fries would not be a common veggie on my plate.  I am shocked that my ass still fits on the sofa.  

So I know I shouldn't worry...if I was gaining too much weight the doctor would tell me.  Many people so sweetly note that I don't really look "that" pregnant (and I guess that means huge and massive for 6 months in).  However, I feel my face getting rounder by the minute (yes, I can actually feel my chubby cheeks puffing out).  My breasts are enlarge to a point that I wonder if they'll ever be normal again.  And my thighs are starting to rub together.

I'd go out for a walk, but every time I get to the front of the neighborhood, I can barely breathe.  This extra 20+ lbs has made it difficult to breathe, walk, exercise, function.  I feel like I am a walking bowl of lard.  

And yet, I can't help myself.

It is not long after I complete gorging myself that I desire something more.  It's like, there isn't enough food in the world.  AND IT'S GROSS.

Just plain gross.

we need adult supervision...

i decided i wanted to get pregnant and convinced my husband this would be a good idea.  i suppose we always were on the same "time table"...we'd wait a year after we got married, disregard traditional birth control methods and see what happens.  well, about the middle of july when i was finished with graduate school, the house had been bought, we'd been married for six months and i was confident in job as an english teacher i began to feel strange...like something, someone was missing from our family.  i told my husband how i felt.  his response, "in january."  six months, not so long to wait.  right?

well, i think i whined enough that he finally gave into giving up the birth control in October--almost three months earlier than we originally planned.  i was sure i was going to get pregnant.  not the first month.  not the second month.  by christmas, i was starting feel something different--like maybe i wanted to try  a new career, work full time on my writing and/or take the financial hit and teach college.  i wanted to travel and began to long for my back pack and passport...we could wait another year to have a baby...why rush?

then, a few days after the new year, i woke up and felt terrible.  my boobs literally doubled over night and i felt like i had been in the worse bar fight.  i laid on the sofa for a day or two, convinced i was hungover from the holidays and just needed to rest up before school started back.  then it hit me--i might be pregnant.  anxiety swept over me and i convinced my husband to take me to the store for a pregnancy test.  he swore i wasn't knocked up.  there was only one way to find out.  i pulled the plastic cap off the stick, stuck in in the urine stream, and waited.  

the box said three minutes.  thirty seconds later, a very pink line appeared in the window, fifteen more seconds and the second one appeared.  two lines equals preggers.  i took the stick downstairs to my husband where he sat, feet propped up on the coffee table, playing Tiger Woods on the Wii.  I looked at him and said, "I'm pregnant."  I don't remember being happy or sad...no real emotion coming from my face, merely fact.  I showed him the test.  "Take another," he said...pure panic in his voice.  I could barely squeeze anything else out of me but the few drops i was able to conjure up made it very clear--i was most definitely knocked up.  My husband's response to the second positive:

"Call your mother, we need adult supervision."

as the next few months progressed and i spent more time on the sofa in front of the TV than anything else, i felt like my husband was more excited than i was about the baby.  he wanted to tell the whole world and i just wanted to lay down.  he bought the baby presents and i had to eat.  he wanted to talk about cribs and i just wanted silence.  it wasn't that i resented the little human growing inside of my i just didn't feel at all.  and that scared me.  was i normal?

and then the weirdest thing happened...sometime between hearing the heartbeat (it wasn't until 12 weeks that i actually heard it) and feeling it move inside of me, i realized something new about myself.  i am a mother.  i am a mother to this little person living inside of me and all of those things i thought i wanted somehow don't seem quite as important.  at least, not for me to do alone.  

don't get me wrong, i think these people that are like, "I loved being pregnant" are crazy.  yes, i said it, certifiable.  i haven't had a difficult or rough pregnancy (but i'm only 5 and a 1/2 months along and i still have the heat of the summer to endure so i'm not counting my chickens before they hatch) but i am know that i don't want to be pregnant a lot.  i mean, i'd like to have more than one child.  of course.  but for now, i just can't wait to meet this one...i already worry about who he/she will become, what he/she will like, if they'll love me.

and that, i think, was my biggest problem.

for the first four months of this, i was so afraid that this little person wouldn't love me.  i realize now, it's okay.  i love him/her enough for the both of us.